508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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