How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
