someone threw a dead crab at me
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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