..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
