i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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