just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
