never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Another day, another engagement, another cat
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
