Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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