Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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