Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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