She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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