it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
