let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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