Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
