I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He felt like a one man threesome
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Your cock deserves a montage
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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