NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
