I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
