I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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