I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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