I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
