Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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