ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
