Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
