Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
