We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
