it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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