Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
