wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
