Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
