I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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