Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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