he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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