yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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