member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
