How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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