It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
