If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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