fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
