I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
