so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
