Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
