It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
