thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
