Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
