Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
