New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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