I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
