If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
BRING THE BAGELS
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
