...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
