just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
