Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I accidentally burped into my bong.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
She's like a pop up book from hell.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
