i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
