now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
